The Self-Connection Podcast: Episode two

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A fun and joyful conversation between Sharon and Tim as they continue exploring the richness of Virginia Satir’s work. We discuss the difference between Self-esteem and Self-connection.

0:00 We talk about what self-connection means and how this differs from self-esteem. We discuss what Satir meant by self-esteem. The Self is an energy that has intrinsic worth and this was the place that Virginia connected to and that helped healing and growth take place in individuals and families. Virginia would talk about ‘Wholeness’ and she would help people connect to that wholeness by letting go of feeling and thinking patterns that blocked connection.

4:37 Tim leads a self-connection meditation

9:12 We continue our conversation. We begin by reviewing Sharon’s personal experiences with Virginia’s work. Sharon talked about how powerful the experiences Satir facilitated that help her experience herself in new ways that changed her life. Sharon describes that for the first time she “had to look at herself in-depth” and the belief was that this inner work beyond conceptual knowledge was what made healing within and between possible.

Sharon shares that she continues to grow in her exploration of Virginia’s work.

12:00 We read an exerpt from Barbara Jo Brothers’ Book “Well Being Writ Large” which includes Virginia’s response to what she felt her main contribution to psychotherapy was. Virginia mentions hope (the ability to experience new possibilities), that a therapist needs to be a whole person, and humor/lightness.

13:30 Tim shares his appreciation for Virginia’s emphasis on being life-affirming and on focusing on growth. Virginia would reframe symptoms as part of life and help move and transform stuck experiences towards new possibilities.

15:46 Sharon emphases the challenge of transcending the stuck places of cognitions in order to connect with the worthiness of Self. The experiential parts of therapy are powerful because they help people come into contact with the life, the spirit, that resides inside of them.

17:30 Love as a verb and self-compassion can become shoulds. What could be healing and empowering is realizing our worthiness as a beginning and not trying to add to that to earn it or to become worthy.

20:40 Sharon talks about Virginia’s seed model and how seeds come with the essence of what the seed will become. Virginia worked with people with a sense of awe of that person and this connection at the level of Self and of worthiness creates the context of healing and growth.

23:00 “What is essential is invisible to the eye” Mr. Rogers talked and emphasized knowing and connecting to the core self.

24:00 Consciousness is the ability to become aware of self, other, context and then to begin to shape, influence and create your experience through the choices you can make. Virginia would often encourage becoming your own ‘choicemaker’ or ‘decisionmaker’.

25:30 When we are in touch with our Self, our life energy, our perceptual landscape expands. Sharon shares about how she was able to see the beautiful mountains that surrounded the training center on the last day of her training with Satir.

27:00 We discuss congruence as the free flow of energy/information within a person and between people and the environment.

27:37 Hope is the connection to positive emotions that we can shape things, face difficulties, and express what I am experiencing and we can learn together.

28:50 “Everyday is a choice to be open or rigid” Sharon shares. Tim shares the expression of that fluidity in his work with movement in our sedentary cultures.

29:45 The connection between Virginia’s work and attachment theory/research. The parent-child relationship becomes a mode of being with life and with the unknown.