Therapy is a waste management system

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Let’s talk about garbage. Everything you throw out was once useful to you that’s why it was in your house to begin with.

The key is knowing when it’s time to throw it out.

It doesn’t make sense to accumulate stuff forever. At some point, you need to give it away and let go.

Life is about learning what to do with the garbage of life. Some things, some relationships are truly garbage. And that’s not to put anyone down. I didn't say some people are garbage. Some things have outgrown their usefulness. Some things have no more energy in them and so they need to die and be put out to pasture.

It is sad. One day your body will be useless. That’s ok. Death comes for us all.

That’s nothing to resent about being. Life and death are a package deal. Accumulation and disposal are partners.

Question life demands of us:

What to hold on to? What to let go of? What to recycle/refurbish?

What needs to be replaced with something new?

After all, some things that you throw out tell you they need to be replaced.

Looking at the stuff of your life and trying to understand what is accumulating that is in fact garbage.

Emotionally what is the garbage that has accumulated?

The patterns that we created a long time ago that no longer serve us are a kind of schematic garbage. These patterns need to be updated.

If the metaphor of waste management system seems crude to you consider this: Our bodies have a waste management system. It has to. We take in food and accumulate garbage that needs to be disposed of. Every system including the psychological system creates waste that needs to be discarded. To acknowledge this empowers us with the choice to consciously make moment by moment about the various thoughts, feelings, memories, perceptions, expectations, rules, beliefs we possess or that possess us. 

Take a moment to consider a repeating theme or experience in your life. What are the recurring or familiar thoughts, feelings and desires that are associated with this pattern? Are you holding onto a relationship that is no longer positive or growthful for you and the other person? Are their memories or expectations that you cling to that are in fact harmful? Take a moment to simply look and to be present to what you can be aware of at this moment. After spending some time as yourself: Can I let go of this? Do I want to hang on? Can I make something new here?

Self-connection is an explicit process of digesting psychological matter(“processing” as the popular term in psychotherapy circles goes). Digestion is healthy because of the presence of movement. Things don’t get stuck in the pipes so to speak.

The recent growth of minimalism points to the value of getting rid of junk. Minimalism can also be applied to our mental health. By paying attention to what you allow in, what you hold on to and what you are choosing to let go of, you are actively engaging in caring for your psyche in ways that will be energizing, freeing and empowering. When you take responsibility for your own ‘junk’, you will have more room for new experiences, less reactive and be more present to the people around you. 

Everyone wins when you take out your trash.